Have you ever heard the saying, "you can't love someone if you don't love yourself"? I never knew what it meant. I understand that I have to be satisfied in my own life and I can't look to another person to "complete" me or give me emotional support or make me happy (how depressing is that?). If you aren't happy to begin with, after the initial euphoria wears off, you'll go back to feeling however you felt before Mr. Wonderful came along. If you are lucky, you'll wind up just a little bit happier than you would have been otherwise. But, if you were depressed and dissatisfied before, odds are that's where you'll end up again. A boyfriend won't fix it.

But, mostly, it's just a different kind of life. Hopefully, a better life, but certainly a different life. That's scary, isn't it? All the sacrifices that must be made, the alone time that will be lost, the need to make decisions in common, the negotiations about what to do, when to do it and who to do it with. It is nice to always (usually, mostly) have a companion, but it's exhausting to have to take someone else into consideration all the time. There's all that to worry about and I'm not even all that reluctant to make those sacrifices. I've done it over and over and, given the chance, I'll do it again. Not without some trepidation, but without much hesitation either. What's scary is that I might lose the person and end up alone, all over again, back where I started. It's exhausting.

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