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by Louise C on 2005 Nov 24 - 05:33 | reply to this comment
Strength and Weakness of the TIH Ideal
I agree entirely with Edward that the Taken In Hand ideal presents a rather romanticized version of most modern alpha males.
The truth of the matter is that the Taken In Hand couple is thoroughly enthralled with (various versions of) a male-dominant psychology; it is not that we actually measure up to the heroic images engendered in our minds by these deep feelings of rapture. But if, in the process of exploring the Taken In Hand dynamic, both partners become more attentive and unselfish lovers as we eroticize the mundane exchanges of daily life, then this is a very substantial gain to place against the risk of disillusionment, of discovering that our male heroes too often have feet of clay.

I suspect that the appeal of Pride & Prejudice for women is in Elizabeth's character as well as Darcy's. The most Taken In Hand moment in the novel, for me, was the morning after she has angrily spurned Darcy's marriage proposal only to receive his letter. Upon reading it, she is forced to reconsider her shallow and misinformed impression of his character. As the hard truths of his letter sink in, Elizabeth: "Grew absolutely ashamed of herself. She had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd. “How despicably I have acted!” she cried –– I, who have prided myself on my discernment.... How humiliating is this discovery, yet how just a humiliation! ... Vanity, not love, has been my folly."

As I read this, I couldn’t help wondering if Elizabeth might have wished Darcy to reappear at that moment. Upon seeing her abject remorse, might he beckon her with open arms, his forgiveness implied? Before accepting it, might she ask him to spank her as she felt she deserved -- soundly, justly, lovingly? Would such a ritual of atonement bring relief to her tormented soul?